It’s not true, folks. The lying liberal media wants you to think he’d shag a settee. That he’d bone a book stand. That he’s creamied on the credenza.
Don’t trust them. My beautiful boy JD, he’d never do it! He’s chaste with the chaises. He’s never loved a loveseat.
My VP would never fuck furniture.
You know what? It’s 2024, I don’t really care if you fuck couches.
There, I said it.
That.
I care really a lot if you accuse somebody of being Hitler and then go work for him. But fuck anybody caring about fucking couches.
First it’s just the couch.
Then it’s the couch with your wife on it.
Then it’s your wife.
This is a documented progression of predatory behavior
You didn’t think about the couch, do you? Animal.