Anyway, Alien: Romulus is the seventh film about these particular monsters. According to the producers, the film takes the franchise ‘back to its roots’. So we get a group of grimy crew-mates piloting a big rust-bucket of a spaceship who pick up an extraterrestrial stowaway and end up having to use their wits and courage to survive as it gobbles them up, one by one.
And it’s not a bad film. It’s nicely creepy, the special effects are good, the acting is perfectly serviceable. In fact, I could give you a normal review of Alien: Romulus, but just writing this is making me feel a little crazy. It’s not a bad film, but it’s also a direct copy of a much better film that already exists. That film is called Alien, and it came out in 1979. It had Sigourney Weaver in it. It hasn’t vanished. If you have a Disney+ subscription or a torrent client, you can watch it tonight. Why have we made it again? What’s the point? Why have we spent the past 45 years – which is longer than I’ve been alive – making seven different versions of the same film? What on Earth is going on?
Maybe if a radioactive spider bit a photographer… and then he grew up to become Batman!? (Bc he likes bats, what’s to question about that?)
And then a rich billionaire son loses his parents, becomes a ninja… and buys a costume to become Spiderman?! (again, he’s rich, he can buy whatever costume he wants!)
and not a cool spider man outfit, but some weird fursuit spider suit that immediately makes everyone feel awkward to be around.
Use the tweaks as springboards to make it truly different. Make the audience empathise where they weren’t expecting, feel something different.
This is the way…