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Sorry, but my empathy is very deeply impaired and there’s almost nothing I can do about it. The empathy I feel for others is very finely tuned, I have plenty of it, I always know and understand what other people are feeling. But the empathy I GET from others is nearly nothing. I receive an impaired sense of empathy from neurotypicals. Other people with NPD have been very kind to me, but neurotypicals make a choice not to put in the 10% extra effort it takes to feel empathy for a person with NPD. That’s why you think I’m toxic. You’re choosing not to feel empathy for me. You’re choosing not to understand the position I’m in, and so when I complain about a problem or try to fix it, you think I’m complaining about nothing.
The only thing I can do to resolve my problems with empathy is to campaign for greater recognition of the fact that we disabled people ARE people. Whether you choose to listen is something entirely out of my control.
Using my sense of affective empathy, I see that you’re scared of me because I’m disabled. Using my sense of cognitive empathy, I make an educated guess that you’ve accepted a bunch of stereotypes about disabled people as true without seriously checking them. Putting myself in your shoes, I can only imagine I would take such a confrontational stance with someone just for how they were born, if I was scared absolutely shitless. Drawing on my own experience as a person living with NPD, and factoring in your lack of experience, I don’t believe at all what you’re saying about neurotypicals having empathy for people with NPD by default and making a conscious choice to turn it off. I’ve been in thousands of situations where a neurotypical interacted with a person living with NPD, involving thousands of neurotypicals. I only know of one time you’ve been in such a situation.