I think we are somewhat on the same page here. What matters isn’t the word you use, it’s the intention behind, which is hopefully obvious from context.
When I get called a nerd, my response goes anywhere between being proud and being insulted depending on context. The word itself has no emotion by itself.
Shouldn’t it be the same with many of these words that some people consider racist?
I don’t know about Germany, but in Denmark (their neighbor to the north), you ask the employee for a statement from the doctor. The employer pays the doctors fee, and there are strict rules about when they can even ask for it.