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Cake day: September 23rd, 2023

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  • In my work I have followed the process of maybe a hundred people dying of various things that we in everyday language sort of collectively call “dying of old age”. Usually there’s a couple of serious conditions underlying, and a general physical frailty. This is anecdotal, but my experience is that people make a conscious effort to get up in the morning and eat food and move around in the ways they can, until they enter a downward spiral where they for example eat less than they should, which means they get tired, they then stay more in bed, leading to less eating, etc. Something relatively minor like a cold, an aching tooth, a fall, a UTI, etc, can accelerate this quickly. Until they have shorter time awake and more time drifting in and out of consciousness, if they are in pain they will get something for the pain, which usually makes them even less responsive. Then eventually the body starts shutting down, they stop urinating etc, and some days later they die.

    In this overall process, there’s a time when making an effort to eat and to be active will prolong life, but it seems so easy for them to just… let go, and soon they will be dead. We (the patient + the health care team) usually talk about this at least once, to know what their wishes are. What surprised me in the beginning was that most old people I’ve talked to say that they are done, so for example if the heart stops they don’t want attempts to save them.

    All this together, I think old frail people can “hang in there” for a while if they feel motivated, but of course anything can happen at any time anyways.







  • I like your example with that song. If we interpret the scene as both acting out the behaviour the’ve been taught, they are both reinforcing each others behaviours. Assuming that both wanted to be together but there was an established “dance” around it. They can only work together. What if one (and only one) of them had not done their part? If he hadn’t, she would have left, possibly feeling that he didn’t really want her to stay. If she hadn’t, she risks being labeled “easy”. In both cases, again if we assume they both actually wanted to stay and feel good about it, they don’t both get what they want.
    So… if we now, as a conscious effort from society, are trying to get away from this bad system, it seems to me that the only way is a gradual de-escalation from both sides. It also seems to me that if we only tell men to never “pursue”, but do nothing about the “hard to get”-behaviour, then men who follow the new instructions or script will be left with no chance to meet someone.
    What I think is missing from the discourse today is that it’s a hard sell to young men to change their behaviour, if doing so is punished by the same people asking them to change. We’re caught in a stalemate where we need to help each other simultaneously, with mutual understanding, trust, and care. In that very sensitive process, trying to move it forward by telling someone they are a potential rapist is probably just making men dig deeper trenches and refuse to listen. Some people want this, I believe. The conflict that lets you feel righteous anger and resentment. But it’s not helping.











  • pmk@lemmy.sdf.orgtoLinux@lemmy.mlBSD Vs. Linux
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    22 days ago

    It’s more that changes can be made with coordination across the OS, with a shared vision and goal. Linux distros are primarily integration projects, putting together the components from other peoples projects. BSDs are in control of the base OS project as one coherent project.